Deranged
by ShelbySabaku
Summary: If one more person told Sakura what she could and couldn't feel, she was going to scream.


Untitled

**This is the first place award for Vesper-chan's winning story "Of Monsters and Men". Her entering into my contest is truly so flattering so everyone should go look up her stories RIGHT THIS MINUTE. **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto

**Pein x Sakura **

**Summary: **If one more person told Sakura what she could and couldn't feel, she was going to scream.

**Warning: **A tad dark. Actually, pretty damn dark.

* * *

"Sakura-chan for the love God, just fucking _look at me_."

"Forehead, what's happened to you?"

"I'm worried about you Sakura."

"This isn't like you."

"Sakura-san, you can not let your youthful glow disappear!"

"We all are thinking of you Sakura."

"He can't hurt you anymore."

"Sasuke is gone Sakura."

"He's never coming back."

"You don't have to worry."

"Don't be afraid."

If one more person told her how she was supposed to be feeling, she was going to fucking scream.

* * *

_You are now opening the file of _**Sakura Haruno**

_**Age: **_24

_**Height:**_5'4''

_**Weight:**_105lbs

_**Appearance:**_Pink Hair; green eyes

_**Admitted by:**_Naruto Uzumaki, Ino Yamanaka, and Shikamaru Nara

_**History of Psychiatric Treatment: **_Mother and Father; bipolar disorder

_**Reason for entry:**_Attempted Suicide; Wrists sliced

_**Condition: **_Nearing stability,

_**Allowance to leave facility?: **_Pending

* * *

"I never pegged you as someone to give up Sakura."

His voice wouldn't leave her mind.

"Stop." Sakura whispered, covering her ears with the hospital pillow.

"Are you really that easily influenced?" His dark, snake-like voice kept hissing in her ears.

"You aren't really here." The tears began leaking from her eyes.

"I'm always here Sakura. You can't escape from me." She could feel him chuckle next to her.

The screams started.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sakura screeched, thrashing around in her sweat soaked sheets. Her breathing began becoming uneven; her body began to shake; her pupils dilated; she gasped for breath.

Just like every night.

And just like every night, the guards would come in, pin her down to the bed, and stabilize her by jabbing the needle into her.

And just like every night after that she would be to tired to cry or think about him.

Sasuke Uchiha.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" That was the first question the psychiatrist ever asked her.

"I wasn't happy." Sakura remembered every detail of the dirty room. The cracked wallpaper, the perfectly placed picture frames, the impressive degrees, the large mahogany desk, and the shrink who deemed Sakura crazy.

"Sakura, you're only twenty-four. You have an entire life left for you." The psychiatrist responded, a practiced smile painted on her face.

"I know," Sakura responded, "That's why I wanted to kill myself."

That left the shrink silent for a moment.

"You sliced your wrists. Why that method?"

"I wanted him to find me."

"Him? Who is "him"?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Who is Sasuke Uchiha?"

"The him."

"Yes, Sakura dear I know that, but why did you want him to find you?"

"Because I wanted him to see what he caused."

"Sasuke caused your attempted suicide?"

"Yes."

"How did he do that?"

"He made me fall in love with him."

"Isn't that supposed to make you happy Sakura?"

"You've obviously never been in love."

* * *

_"You love me Sakura, you don't have a choice." _

* * *

For as long as Sakura could remember, she had loved Sasuke Uchiha.

She remembers falling in love with him on the playground. He didn't play with any of the kids; instead, he read books a lot.

She liked boys who read.

So, she ultimately decided that she loved him.

Sakura remembers telling Sasuke that she loved him, behind the school during their junior year.

She remembers him scoffing slightly.

She remembers how it hurt when he pinned her against the wall and started kissing her.

She remembers how it didn't matter, because had actually got him.

Sakura remembers the first time Sasuke started abusing her.

She remembers the constant insults.

_Ugly, fat, useless, good for nothing, worthless, dirty, pathetic. _

She remembers the first time his fist connected with her flesh.

She remembers the numerous turtlenecks to hide the bruises.

She remembers the fear she had.

Sakura remembers everything about Sasuke Uchiha.

* * *

_"Forehead you're acting strange lately." _

_"Ino, it's nothing. I just have to get home before Sasuke."_

_"What's with all the turtlenecks anyway Ms. Modesty? Applying for a job at the convent?" _

_"I really have to go Ino."_

_"Fine. Jesus. See if I ever invite you out again." _

* * *

In this dark place, there is light.

That light is in the form of Pein.

Gentle, kind, Pein.

Pein with the many piercings and terrifying eyes. Pein with the apathetic voice, expressions, and feeling. Pein who never says how he feels or does anything to upset anyone.

Pein who she loves so dearly.

Pein who loves her so dearly.

But Sakura can't love Pein. The Psychiatrist officially deemed her as philophobic. The shrink told her that she is afraid of being in love. Therefore, she can't physically fall in love without being afraid.

Sakura doesn't believer her. She knows what she's afraid of. She's afraid of spiders, gunshots, vomit, and getting hit by cars.

Sakura isn't afraid of love.

Sakura is certainly not afraid of loving Pein.

"They don't want me to love you." She remembers telling Pein during lunch while everyone was piling out of the cafeteria.

"Does that mean that you don't?" He quietly responded, his voice sounding of no emotions.

"No, I think that makes me love you more." Sakura looked up at Pein with her viridian eyes and he smiled.

Her heart jumped.

"I've heard that you're nearing stability." Pein raised his eyebrows in question to his object of affections.

"According to them."

"Do you not feel stable?"

Sakura was silent.

"I don't really feel anything Pein." Sakura finally whispered and looked at the veteran of the hospital.

"I'll make you feel again." Pein vowed and grabbed her wilted hand in his.

"Promise?" She looked at the older man desperately, pleading with him through her green orbs.

"Promise." He brought her hand to his lips and ghosted them across her knuckles gently.

* * *

_"I've seen that you and Pein have been spending a lot of time together."_

_"Yes"_

_"What is your relationship with him?" _

_"We love each other." _

_"Sakura, you can't love him; you're afraid of love." _

* * *

"People don't believe in our love." Sakura whispered against Pein's chest one night when the hospital was quiet.

"Loves that must be proven are always the strongest." Pein kissed the top of his pinkette's head and stroked her hair.

"Do you think our love is strange?" Sakura asked the man and looked up at his eyes.

"I think we are much too special to have a normal romance." He smiled slightly and brought her body closer to his as they drifted to sleep.

* * *

_"Sakura-chan, do you remember me? It's Naruto." _

_"Yes Naruto, of course I remember you." _

_"How are you feeling? We're all thinking about you! We're so worried!" _

_"I'm fine Naruto." _

_"No you're not Sakura-chan, you tried to leave me." _

_"I'm fine Naruto." _

_"You say that Sakura-chan, but I know you're not." _

* * *

Her friends don't understand.

They don't understand how she can love someone like Pein; they don't understand that Pein saved her life.

Her friends thought that by putting her in the hospital they saved her life, but Pein did.

Pein is there when she needs to be held. Pein is there when she needs to feel loved. Pein is there when she has her nightmares.

Pein is always there.

Pein will always be there.

Her friends try to tell her that everything will be fine, everything will be back to normal.

Sakura wants to laugh at that.

Nothing is normal anymore.

Everything is different.

She's different.

* * *

_"Pein, do you think I love you?" _

_"I think that you'll know when you love me."_

_"Why don't you tell me?" _

_"It seems like too many people have been telling you how to feel Sakura." _

* * *

"I'm afraid we can't let you leave Sakura."

Sakura can't respond.

"It seems like you're not as stable as we initially thought. We need to take a few more tests and a few more therapy sessions must happen before we can classify you as stable."

Sakura can only nod.

* * *

_"Pein I want to be with you forever." _

_"Then do it Sakura."_

* * *

_You are now opening the file of _**Sakura Haruno**

_**Age**_**: **25

_**Height**_**: **5'4''

_**Weight**_**: **105lbs

_**Physical Appearance:**_Pink hair; green eyes

_**Admitted by: **_Naruto Uzumaki, Ino Yamanaka, and Shikamaru Nara

_**History of Psychiatric Treatment: **_Mother and Father; bipolar disorder

_**Reason for Entry: **_Attempted suicide; Wrists sliced

_**Condition: **_Deranged

_**Allowance to leave facility?: **_Permanent residence in facility

* * *

**WHAT WAS THIS.**

**I am so sorry this was so dark, but I actually absolutely adore how this turned out. **

**I hope you readers enjoyed it :)**

**Once again, go check out Vesper-Chan's profile and her winning oneshot for my contest! **

**Read and Review**

**ShelbySabaku**


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